Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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