i barfeds in our rink
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
