...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
