I just made out with a guy for $7.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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