i just google imaged poop.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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