Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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