Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
