maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
