I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
