After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
