Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
