He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
