We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
