i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize