I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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