he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
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