I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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