come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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