I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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