I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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