My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
