My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
