Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
