Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
