Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I need a beard to bite.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
