1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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