Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
