You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
