I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
