census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
