Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
