i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
wow bdsm is so cute
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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