Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
