It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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