We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
