he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize