Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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