My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
