so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
