I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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