She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
