I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
