Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
