I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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