i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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