The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize