He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
