he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
