Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
