I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
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