Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
