Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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