I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
