So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
