do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
