the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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