Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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