I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
