hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
