they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
