If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
