I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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