Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
