I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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