how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
